Something I saw recently.

Posted: May 23, 2011 in humour

I thought I would share this.

Somebody sent it to me and thought it really does seem to be the economists code of ethics in regard to business management.

Anyway, gave me a chuckle…

Dear Employees,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement.  This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers).  A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Management deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).  Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Management has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives employees.  Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Supervisor.  They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Management

Head Office

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