In THE SHOCK DOCTRINE, Naomi Klein explodes the myth that the global free market triumphed democratically. Exposing the thinking, the money trail and the puppet strings behind the world-changing crises and wars of the last four decades, The Shock Doctrine is the gripping story of how America’s “free market” policies have come to dominate the world– through the exploitation of disaster-shocked people and countries.

At the most chaotic juncture in Iraq’s civil war, a new law is unveiled that would allow Shell and BP to claim the country’s vast oil reserves…. Immediately following September 11, the Bush Administration quietly out-sources the running of the “War on Terror” to Halliburton and Blackwater…. After a tsunami wipes out the coasts of Southeast Asia, the pristine beaches are auctioned off to tourist resorts…. New Orleans’s residents, scattered from Hurricane Katrina, discover that their public housing, hospitals and schools will never be reopened…. These events are examples of “the shock doctrine”: using the public’s disorientation following massive collective shocks – wars, terrorist attacks, or natural disasters — to achieve control by imposing economic shock therapy. Sometimes, when the first two shocks don’t succeed in wiping out resistance, a third shock is employed: the electrode in the prison cell or the Taser gun on the streets.

Based on breakthrough historical research and four years of on-the-ground reporting in disaster zones, The Shock Doctrine vividly shows how disaster capitalism – the rapid-fire corporate re engineering of societies still reeling from shock – did not begin with September 11, 2001. The book traces its origins back fifty years, to the University of Chicago under Milton Friedman, which produced many of the leading neo-conservative and neo-liberal thinkers whose influence is still profound in Washington today. New, surprising connections are drawn between economic policy, “shock and awe” warfare and covert CIA-funded experiments in electroshock and sensory deprivation in the 1950s, research that helped write the torture manuals used today in Guantanamo Bay.

The Shock Doctrine follows the application of these ideas through our contemporary history, showing in riveting detail how well-known events of the recent past have been deliberate, active theatres for the shock doctrine, among them: Pinochet’s coup in Chile in 1973, the Falklands War in 1982, the Tiananmen Square Massacre in 1989, the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991, the Asian Financial crisis in 1997 and Hurricane Mitch in 1998.


Been doing a lot of thinking of late, trying to figure out what to do.

Been working like mad to finish my house up so it is ready for sale.  Living up here in Hallingdal, which is akin to living in ‘deliverance’ world is simply not working out.  There are no real job opportunities, the jobs that are available go to the locals, regardless of their experience or competence and it seems that what you do in your spare time, what sport you are interested in, or hobby you pursue, is the only real thing to put on your CV.

So, it isn’t going to work out here.

I begin to consider moving to another town in Norway, somewhere bigger, where there are more job opportunities, a better cultural mix and perhaps a little warmer, or at least somewhere that has a spring…

But the whole dual citizenship thing kicks its head up and makes me stop and take a good, hard look at the bigger picture.

An I do not like what I am looking at.

And a lot of other foreigners seem to share the same distaste for what this country offers and the way it treats us invaders with disdain, mistrust and essentially looks down on us.

Our educations are not recognised, because we all live in caves and do not read or write.  WE are not competent to work in a position, regardless of our experience, often in an International scope and we are not viewed as having ‘potential’, thus see some of the laziest, most stupid and frankly shit poor excuses move past us on what promotional ladder exists within whatever workplace has taken us on.

So I did a bit of a tally, a comparison of sorts to try and take a more critical look at my situation, to remove the emotional aspect, because, I am pretty fucking emotional about all of this.

Tired of being kicked in the teeth, but being told I need to smile as not to upset the Norwegians.

So What have I come up with.

The comparison is between Norway and my home town in Aus, Newcastle.

Norway                                                                           Newcastle

weather                                       cold, wet, some sunshine                                            warm,  bloody hot in summer, lots of sun, heavy rain and storms in winter

job opportunities                     very restricted, poor choices                                     economy is good, network of friends, not an outsider, pretty good

healthcare                                   for the most part free                                                  for the most part free

educational opportunities     not much point as I am a foreigner                        plenty, from university to tafe and mining courses locally

cost of living                                bloody expensive, high taxes                                   not as expensive, but plenty taxes, council fees and city type costs

family aspect                               fresh air, snowsports, hiking, hytte                        beaches, bays, lake, valley (vineyards), hiking, cheap flights to NZ for skiing

environment                               clean water, fresh air (in mountains)                     coastal salt air, clean water, sunshine

that is where I am as yet, so far it is looking like home is the better option.

It would seem I am not alone in giving up on North Korea, I mean Norway.

Have a gander at this, thanks to the for helping get the message out, fantastic stuff!

Spread the word and help dispel the myths and misinformation out there about this issue.

Most Norwegians are against dual Citizenship for reasons that simply don’t exist, otherwise all the kids born overseas to Norwegian parents, that ARE dual citizens legally in Norway would be costing the country untold sums of money.

Here is the website with more information regarding the issue and the shitfight the Norwegian crack smoking, incopetent, scaredy cat, xenophobic Government and their fawlty towers like cohorts in the UDI have started…

Once again. big cheers for

Dual Citizenship Absurdity!



More of the madness.

Posted: July 29, 2013 in not really sure

I have a question….

If being born in Norway, or having a Norwegian Passport that was approved and authorised by the Norwegian Governmental Authorities does not qualify you as a Norwegian, then what exactly is the criteria to be Norwegian?

It isn’t a birthright…as many Norwegians assume

It isn’t that one of your parents was a ‘Norwegian’ Citizen

It isn’t because you have spent your løife in Norway, paying taxes, voting, gone to school or basically due to residence over an extended timeframe…


So, I have drawn the conclusion that Norway does not actually exist.  It is a fantasy nation, most likely just a tollway for Sweden and Russia or some sort of elaborate hoax.

Get Involved/Contact

Posted: July 29, 2013 in Norwegian culture

Get Involved/Contact.

This is from the


highly recommended site for news in Norway for us Invaders and helpful if you are wondering why your Norwegian workmates are twats and lazy sods…


All hot under the blue collar

Published on Wednesday, 3rd July2013 at 08:33 under the columns category, by Michael Sandelson   .
Last Updated on 3rd July 2013 at 14:01.

EDITORIAL: ‘Norwegian jobs for Norwegian workers,’ squealed Norway’s biggest union last week. If you are a foreigner, like me, LO is certainly not looking for you.


The ploy, if conscious – there is nothing to prove otherwise – was a clever all-rounder. This nationalistic, Gordon Brown-like noise came from the Lefties, but also played to the Right-Wingers’ immigrant xenophobia.

LO’s (the Confederation of Trade Unions) cry draws parallels with the Turks’ position in present-day Germany. They’re foreign, they take jobs away from Germans – even if they’re the type of tasks Germans might consider beneath them.

Then there is the Norwegian welfare state. An influx of foreigners to the country, one historically known for its own mass emigration to the States some 100 years ago, has sparked fears about its sustainability…should they stay. Consequently, keeping too many foreigners or the wrong type of one out – à la Norway Rightist restrictive immigration policy – must be the answer.

Well, not entirely. The issue is a conundrum bearing in mind Norway’s current labour shortage, particularly acute in the oil and healthcare sectors.

Getting the resident work-able labour force to fill these tens of thousands of positions instead is problematic if the education system lacks the requisite number of teachers, if there are not enough (qualified) Norwegians to go round, and if Norwegian employers would prefer to give jobs to their own rather than those with a foreign-sounding name.

And how do you get hold of any available ethnic Norwegian (ugh) staff if younger people healthy enough to work would rather draw NAV (Labour and Welfare Administration) benefits than “get up and work”, as Maggie Thatcher said in her day?

Moreover, LO’s new leader Gerd Kristiansen is also Thatcherite, somewhat ironically. She put the cat amongst the pigeons last month when she claimed mothers use the fact they have children as a buffer against working full-time. Put in another way, they’re snivelling, not getting up and working; they’re succumbing to telling you how they feel, not what they think.

The chilling realisation of “oh Gordon Bennett” (not Brown) gradually dawned on Ms Kristiansen, who unsurprisingly then claimed the Norwegian press had misquoted her.

Gerd Kristiansen has vowed to fight social dumping too. Apparently, more than half of those people in low-paid jobs – such as cleaners, a task spoiled Norwegians would rather avoid and pay someone else to do – are immigrants.

Her union is concerned that Norway’s standard of working-life will be affected by people from low-cost countries. At the same time, Statistics Norway (SSB) figures show almost all new jobs created last year went to foreigners – who probably even pay their taxes.

Enter Minister of Petroleum and Energy Ola Borten Moe this week, himself a father. He declares people from abroad make it possible to further-develop the welfare society, and calls LO’s foreigner scepticism “a meaningless use of time and energy”. The Minister recommends increased labour migration to Norway, and does not fear the natives will be pushed out of their jobs.

Left-Right, left, right, Gerd Kristiansen might be out burning bras, but let us hope that her organisation is not simultaneously burning its bridges.

Ok, now I am pissed.

And I am not sure that the Norwegian Authorities, in their craze hazed stupor quite understand that they have managed to piss off a lot of Australians and we have a deep imbedded contempt for Authority and love to stir up a shitfight!.

I have copied and pasted these from a blog that has been set up to expose clear discriminatory practices by an incompetent and clearly pythonesque UDI in Norway.

Any support and spreading of the word will help as this is really quite serious for many people and in a worst case scenario, the Norwegian police will be banging on doors and rounding up kids for deportation.  Kids born in Norway to a Norwegian parent.  So if they aren’t Norwegian, then what the fuck are they?


Are Geir’s Norwegian kids illegal aliens? Can UDI force his family to leave Norway?


geircropGeir and his wife Melanie, and daughters Lucy and Amalie.

I am a Norwegian, born in Norway, and have two gorgeous daughters with my Australian wife.

Our daughters were born in Norway in 2005 and 2007, respectively.

My wife has lived here since 1998, has permanent residency in Norway, and we have lived here in Norway most of the time since then. She is truly integrated in Norwegian society.

When the children were born they obtained their birth certificates, and also Norwegian passports – just like any other Norwegian children.

Last Friday our world almost fell apart – I was reading a thread on Facebook and realised that there is a big chance that our children have lost their Norwegian citizenship!

They were born in Norway, and I simply can’t understand the logic that UDI takes that strips them of their Norwegian citizenship – I am a Norwegian, they are born here in Norway, they have lived most of their life in Norway. They simply are Norwegian!!!

Here is a bit of background about us and our current situation:

When our daughters were born we chose to spend time in Australia to allow our children to get to know their mother’s home country.

A child born to an Australian citizen overseas qualifies for Australian citizenship by descent (this is the same as, for instance, a US citizen who gives birth here in Norway).

In order to adhere to Australian rules, we contacted Australian immigration experts before we entered Australia with our first-born daughter. My wife was given the information that our daughters qualified for citizenship by descent, and that they then had to enter Australia on an Australian passport. The paperwork for the citizenship by descent was to be organised by my wife. Note that I did not need to sign anything on the form she sent in.

We followed all the Australian rules stated to us, and through the Norwegian rules and legislation we found out (interpreted) that our daughter could keep her Norwegian citizenship – at least until the age of 22.
It should be mentioned that the Australian immigration expert told us that she could keep both citizenships for life. This has been verified through information from consulates/other Norwegians’ stories. Even as late as the 16th of July this year the information was verified in an answer from from one of the Norwegian consulates in Australia.

When our second daughter was born, my wife again took out Australian citizenship by descent for her.

Last year we moved back to Australia for family reasons. The original plan was to stay in Australia for up to 12 months initially.

Last weekend was simply terrible. It came to our attention that one other Norwegian – a Norwegian parent with children born both in Norway and Australia – has not been allowed to return to Norway with her family. The reason is apparently that her twins born in Norway were judged to be no longer Norwegian by UDI. Furthermore, their Norwegian citizenship had been revoked because their Australian parent had taken citizenship by descent for them.

Even more confusingly, her daughter born in Australia had no problems – she is legally both Australian and Norwegian. The rules are such that for children born to a Norwegian in, for instance, Australia, will be Australian from birth. If our daughters were not born in Norway, but rather Australia, we could legally have applied for citizenship in Norway for them. Then our daughters would legally have been both Norwegian and Australian.

Imagine that – you are more Norwegian if you are born in Australia than in Norway!

The information was, mildly speaking, disturbing. Have my Norwegian, Norway-born daughters really lost their Norwegian citizenship?

Have my daughters lived in Norway illegally most of their life? What will happen to them now? Will we ever be able to move back to Norway as a family?

I cannot see that I have done anything wrong. I have NEVER signed or legally consented to the Australian citizenship by descent. This is purely a process where the Australian parent applies the rights that she/he has when she/he has children overseas. We – the Norwegian parent(s) – simply don´t have anything to do with it!!

The situation also seems so unfair. Australia seems to be one of the few countries where this causes a problem with UDI. Australia, UK, Canada, England, etc.  all give the right for their citizens to take citizenship by descent for their children. Norway has no problem with any of the other countries listed above, but make a distinction with Australia, and claim that in the Australian system you send in what is referred to as a form/registration/application in various situations, and that in, for example, the USA, you send in a registration form. UDI discriminates against us that have Australian partners, because they say that as opposed to in the USA, an “application” has to be filled out in the Australian system.

Can UDI really be allowed to discriminate against us simply because the different systems have a natural difference in wording? In either case this is simply “CITIZENSHIP BY DESCENT” for the children of a parent that gives birth away from their home country. It just seems SO unfair!

This is so frightening and depressing. And it just doesn’t seem fair! The situation where my wife simply used the rights that she has as an Australian citizen giving birth in Norway directly punishes my daughters, and they are not able to freely live/move back to Norway with us – their parents…

Comments : Leave a Comment »

Categories : Uncategorized

Kari’s family: Exiled from Norway


DSC05744edit(Name changed and photo blurred to to protect privacy)

My daughter was born in Norway in 2010, and her father – my husband – is Australian. It is only now, three years later, I have come to understand that we might have jeopardised her and our future by acquiring what was rightfully hers: an Australian citizenship. I realise we might not have gone into the depth of UDI’s information available online, but we were of the understanding that a child born to two different nationalities would be allowed to keep both.

Moving back to Norway was on the cards for us. We were heading back in the middle of 2015. Now, it seems, we might not be able to go back at all – or we will have to divide our family to make it happen, because my daughter’s citizenship was taken from her without notice.

I am Norwegian. I lived there for 22 years. I vote, pay my taxes, volunteer, eat brown cheese and celebrate 17th of May every year. My parents, grandparents and pretty much everyone before that, were all Norwegian. And I thought my daughters were, too. Since moving to Australia we have had another one. She is Norwegian, too. But she is also Australian – because she was born there. The difference is that she gets to keep both citizenships. She has not even been to Norway.

Why is there such discrimination? Why does the Norwegian government exile Norwegian families that have but one wish: to live and work in Norway?

Our family is now looking at the depressing possibility of never being able to return, to always have to have Norway as a holiday destination, and never as our home.


I 2010 ble min datter fodt i Norge. Hennes far, og min mann, er fra Australia. Nylig fant vi ut at vi muligens har satt hele hennes, og vaar egen, fremtid paa spill, ved aa sorge for at hun fikk det som var rettmessig hennes; Australsk Statsborgerskap. Jeg er klar over at vi kanskje ikke satt oss inn dybden av all informasjonen UDI hadde paa sine nettsider, men var av den oppfatning at et barn fodt av foreldre med to forskjellige nasjonaliteter ville kunne beholde begge selv.

Aa flytte tilbake til Norge var vaar plan for fremtiden. Vi skulle reise dit i midten av 2015. Naa ser det ut som vi ikke vil ha mulighet til aa dra tilbake i det hele tatt – med mindre vi deler opp familien for aa faa det til. Fordi min datters statsborgerskap sannsynligvis har blitt tatt fra henne uten at vi har faatt beskjed.

Jeg er norsk. Jeg har bodd der i 22 aar. Jeg bruker stemmeretten min, jeg har betalt den skatten jeg skal betale, har jobbet som frivillig, spiser brunost og feirer 17. mai hvert aar. Mine foreldre, besteforeldre, og stort sett hver eneste person foer meg er og har vaert norske. Og jeg trodde mine barn ogsaa var det. Etter at vi flyttet til Australia, har vi nemlig faatt en til. Hun var ogsaa foedt norsk. Men hun er ogsaa Australsk – fordi hun ble foedt her. Forskjellen her, er at hun faar beholde begge statsborgerskapene – og hun har ikke en gang vaert i Norge.

Hvorfor finnes denne form for diskriminering? Hvorfor vil den norske regjering presse ut norske familier som har for onske aa leve og arbeide i Norge?

Vaar familie maa naa vaakne opp til den deprimerende realiteten at vi kanskje aldri kan flytte tilbake, og at norge vil forbli et reisemaal, og at det kanskje aldri vil bli vaart hjem…

Comments : Leave a Comment »

Categories : Uncategorized

A Norwegian mother’s story – how Nina cannot live together with her kids in Norway


I am Norwegian and my husband is Australian. We have three daughters; one born in Australia in 2007 and twins born in Norway in 2008.

ImageNina and Gregg with their children Milla, Agnes and Elliot. Despite being born in Norway to a Norwegian mother, Agnes and Elliot have been stripped of their Norwegian citizenship by UDI.

Upon the birth of our first daughter in 2007, we explored the possibilities for positing dual Norwegian and Australian citizenships for our child, and it was confirmed by Norwegian authorities that this was ok in light of a Norwegian mother and an Australian father. It never crossed our minds one year later when our twins were born that rules could be different simply because they were born in Norway! If anything, a child born in Norway should most absolutely be a Norwegian citizen?! Wouldn’t it be our daughter born in Australia who possibly could not be Norwegian? The irony is that today, our daughter born in Australia is the Norwegian one, and our twins born in Norway are not allowed to be Norwegian!!

Long story short: UDI has now revoked the twins’ Norwegian citizenship! They were not allowed to be Norwegian anymore, because they also had received Australian citizenship by descent at birth, as their father is Australian. Their older sister born in Australia is allowed to keep her dual Norwegian-Australian citizenship. But for the twins, they cite the rule that: “A child who acquires another citizenship by application or explicit consent shall lose his or her Norwegian citizenship where the parents jointly or the parent who has sole parental responsibility, have or has lodged the application or given the consent”. In other words, if you are born in Norway and then become a citizen of another country, then you automatically forfeit your Norwegian citizenship. There is no notification of this, no required signature where you acknowledge that you are aware of the consequences of what you are doing, no information, nothing. Parents are just supposed to know this!

We can see some issues with this reaction and verdict by UDI:

  1. First of all, there seems to be no clear consensus and very contradictory advice is given to parents who ask for clarification of this matter. We did seek advice from Norwegian authorities and followed the advice given: that a child with a Norwegian and Australian parent was entitled to posit dual citizenship (and still today the Norwegian consulates in several cities in Australia confirm this, regardless of whether children are born in Norway or Australia)
  2. For five years, our children have had Norwegian passports and been Norwegian citizens, and we have renewed their passports twice without problem! We have been travelling between Norway and Australia frequently due to my undertaking of my doctorate in Australia, but parts of my studies have been located in Norway, hence we have been ‘commuting’ between the two countries for several years. HOWEVER, UDI claims that it was a mistake on their behalf, and although we never received any notification until the children were 5 years old, they in fact did lose their Norwegian citizenship on the date that they received their Australian citizenship by descent.
  3. There are many families who are confused now, because they have Norwegian passports for their children born in Norway and who posit dual Norwegian-Australian citizenship. Because the Norwegian passport application does not (currently) contain any question of whether you also have a different country’s citizenship, it is rarely ‘discovered’ and we are the only ones we know of where the government has actually officially revoked the children’s passports and citizenship. And if it wasn’t for an eager government official asking questions when we last renewed the children’s passports, they would still ‘be Norwegian’ too, as we had passports and truly believed we had done everything correctly in regards to our children’s citizenship!
  4. Because the children have an Australian father they automatically qualify for Australian citizenship – HOWEVER, you have to REGISTER any birth and citizenship that happens abroad, outside Australia. This happens when the Australian father/parent signs a document called “citizenship by descent” and the heading on this document states “Registration of Australian Citizenship by Descent” to confirm that the following person has been registered as an Australian citizen. Nowhere in this document does it say “application approved”, hence we are interpreting this as a REGISTRATION of Australian citizenship, not an application for Australian citizenship.
  5. UDI interprets registering our children as APPLYING for citizenship in another country. However, there is a difference; for example two Norwegian parents applying in Australia for citizenship of their child born in Norway, after, for instance, living Downunder for ten years. Such would clearly be an application. But we are talking about a right by birth to be registered as an Australian citizen by right of descent because your father/parent is Australian!

We have spent a lot of time and money investigating and fighting this issue for our little family, and we have just spent a year trying to fight UDI’s decision to revoke our twins’ Norwegian citizenship. But after spending thousands of kroner on lawyers and appeal, we have been handed the final verdict: our twins have had their Norwegian citizenship revoked on a permanent basis. We may reapply for them to become Norwegian citizens when they are 12, but will have to renounce the Australian citizenship in that case.

I know it is ridiculous, but UDI is not yielding. We have talked to the Australian Consul in Oslo, and she informed us that an unofficial number of children in the same situation as our Norwegian-Australian family could be as high as perhaps 1500 children or even more! These are children  (Norwegian-Australian parents) born in Norway who have potentially lost their Norwegian citizenship without their knowledge (because you automatically lose your Norwegian citizenship when you acquire Australian citizenship by descent!). So the result is that my daughter born in Australia is the one that qualifies for dual Norwegian-Australian citizenship, and our twins that were born in Norway are denied Norwegian citizenship, and can only be Australian.

Elliot Agnes Milla sykler hos Besta

This creates problems, as last year we wanted to move back home to Norway, but since my twins are no longer Norwegian citizens, the only way I could take them to Norway was to apply for ‘family reunion’. However, upon exploring this option, I was even denied family reunion, as I did not fulfill, for example, the financial criteria in the application – to be able to care for my family (as I didn’t have a job in Norway, and was still finishing off studies, so could not document the required income needed to qualify). UDI’s solution and advice given to me: I can move to Norway with my 6-year old daughter, and live and work for 1 year in Norway so that I fulfill all criteria for an approved family reunion, then I can apply and have the twins come from Australia. Crazy! So at the moment we are stuck here in Australia.

As a mother, I worry what will happen to my children should we as parents, for example – worst case scenario – pass away. We have no family here in Australia – who would then take care of my children? Would my parents in Norway encounter any problems taking the children out of Australia and into Norway? Needless to say we feel very vulnerable.

When my children were born I thought they would be Norwegian because I, as their mother, am Norwegian, in the same sense that they are Australian because their father is Australian. Norwegian citizenship and Australian citizenship by “descent” is just a process, the child is still Norwegian and Australian at birth. We think UDI is getting it all wrong, and we sincerely hope that UDI will reconsider their interpretations of this law.


In Norway, many of us are involved in mixed Nationality relationships, which, one would imagine is a good thing, especially for our children.

That they have cultural connections across borders and belong to a more ‘globalised’ world, perhaps contributing to better understanding of foreign cultures, prevention of wars and othe conflicts in the future.  After all, that is the argument made to justify the existence of the E.U isn’t it?

Well, recently it has flared up that children, born IN NORWAY, of mixed nationality couples, who attain their birthright citizenship from the foreign parents home country lose their Norwegian Citizenship.

It appears that the UDI interpret it as applying for another Citizenship, which is strictly forbidden as then the earth would open up, demons descend from the heavens and Norway would face ragnarok, or armageddon.  Which would be a bad thing.

This is despite the very real fact that many children already have dual citizenship, especially, those born to a Norwegian Parent outside of Norway.

So, a little double standard goes a long way to stave of the destruction of Norway….

Anyway, on Facebook, there is now a group, actually a few, that have taken this issue up and are fighting to get some logic inserted into a clearly dysfunctional, outdated and rather stupid law that appears to have been crafted with the help of some of Oslo’s fines Crack Cocaine and Hjemmebrent.

So , if you have kids, born in Norway, regardless of where you now live, and they have acquired dual Citizenship from your or your spouses homeland, take a peek and join the debate.

We need this to come forward in the media (it has so far in VG – Front page) and get it sorted as some families face being broken up, some are barred from returning to Norway as the kids have been stripped of their Citizenship.

Any anecdotes or tales from your experiences with the UDI would be good,  as they are like a fawlty towers episode and any other relevant info, such as how your home nation defines the right to Citizenship by decent.  Is it Automatic, by recognition or must you seek it?

So here is a link to the sites on Facebook in Norway.  Join the fight!!


Image  —  Posted: July 27, 2013 in links I want to share, Norwegian culture, not really sure

OK, time for a pop quiz

Posted: June 14, 2012 in not really sure

I am not sure about all of you, but my blood boils when I hear certain words used in Norwegian that display such a mind numbingly awesome level of ignorance and utter moronity that at times I have wondered why my long intestine has not made a mercy dash and climbed up inside my body and strangled me to relieve me of the desire to educate(usually the idea of stabbing them in the face with a large, blunt object repeatedly)  people who insist on sprinkling their sentences with large words that they think sounds clever but only act to identify them as the hillbilly trailer trash they actually are.

some of these ‘words’ are:

Effective (effektiv) : actually means –  less people running faster

Positive (positiv): meaning- I have my head up my arse thus I cannot see the problem you are mentioning

Budget: usually referring to a ‘wish list’ involving high profits and no costs.

Staff Meeeting (møte): lets get together, drink bitter, burnt dipolator ‘coffee’ and talk shit for an hour, agree an what changes we need to make and then tomorrow, continue doing the stupid shit we have always done.

Innovation (innovasjon): lets take an old, out of date and disfunctional idea/methodology/technique and give it a new name and logo.

Now ther are plenty more, and I would love to hear any further suggestions, but the fact is that I have to hear this crap every bloody day.

Over and over, as an excuse for not getting involved, a response to valid observations, as a way out of having to explain why the dumbest possible way that ever in the history of all life on the planet earth is the chosen way that we will do something.

So, today I tried something.

Everytime I heard one of these words I started humming or whistling the smurfs theme tune.

It helps.

It just seems to make sense of it all.

And if you think about it, just for a second, Norway is a lot like the imaginary world the Smurfs inhabit, simple, kind of like reality but not quite, lots of nature and the laws of physics seem to not apply.

And it helps me laugh off the frustration that leads to irreconcilable rage that engulfs me and to disengage – to be more ‘Norwegian’ as it was.  To just realise that it isn’t worth giving a shit, mediocrity is a valid goal and trying to improve, to make things better, learning from the mistakes of others or the past is pointless.

So, give it a try.